Mew's Christmas Carol
by Shaded Skies
Summary: Mew, the greatest Legendary Pokémon of all time is suffering from a bad case of the holiday blues. She tries her hand at understanding and celebrating Christmas... With a rhyming carol!


'Twas a dark, cold night of ice and snow  
Winter had come, as the moon was aglow  
Bathing herself in its pale chilling light  
Floated Mew, a legendary of wisdom and might

"1.5424° to ecliptic…"  
She mumbled with a meaning most cryptic  
"6.687° to orbital plane…"  
She whispered in a way most profane

Creating mental notes to add to her growing supply  
Mew giggled and decided to look down from the sky  
Down there was a world she felt she knew rather well  
With few curiosities about it left in her to quell

Suddenly realizing danger with her many senses  
She hastily attempted to raise her defenses  
A crowd of Pokémon seemed to have gathered underneath  
Dancing, laughing and singing through their teeth!

Mew lowered her defenses, but rose in height  
"What an odd thing to be doing, on such a frosty night…"  
But even though she was so high above  
She couldn't help but notice all their magnificent love

Focusing her ears, she started hearing  
Of tidings and traditions most endearing!  
They were celebrating 'Holidays' or 'Christmas', signs bode  
Whichever one it was, she was unable to decode

She wondered what 'Christmas' was, in curiosity  
They were spreading joy and delight, with such generosity!  
And even though she tried to this happy display shun  
She couldn't deny that it all looked kind of… Fun.

She wished to join them, to move a bit nearer  
Instead the voice of reason in her turned clearer  
"I am legendary and must remain hidden", she remembered  
"Unless I want to get caught, or maybe even dismembered!"

Sighing deeply, she turned around to leave  
She saw no use in hanging on to an impossible dream  
But suddenly, a plan in her mind took form  
"I know! I can try to use 'Transform'!"

Searching nearby for a lonely spot  
She knew from the start this would be a long shot  
Her transformation skills were far from complete  
And her regular form was pink, not all that discreet!

Setting down among a group of trees  
She took shelter behind them from the cold breeze  
Then, using the extent of her abilities  
She began thinking about the many possibilities

She thought of turning into a common Raticate  
But she didn't want to come off as too overweight  
Most of her transformations were of water-types, like Horsea  
Although becoming a Magikarp would probably never be a good idea...

In the end, she decided to go with Charmander  
The fairly rare, yet popular salamander  
But then she halted herself just before turning  
In this cold, her fire might stop burning!

Met with failure, she felt her determination soften  
Transforming was not something she did very often  
Not wanting to waste any further time  
She simply transformed herself into a Mr. Mime

Her new body was itchy, heavy and slow  
Only when compared with her regular form, though  
They might laugh at her, but she won't hear it  
None of that will be enough to crush her spirit!

Feeling ready, she finally left the trees  
Approaching the crowd while braving the chilling freeze  
Sliding herself in, she quickly blended in with the the crew  
There were now 33 regular Pokémon… And a Mew!

Looking around, she found herself somewhat meek  
Celebrations everywhere, yet she dared not to speak!  
She had never been good at socialization  
Constant isolation can create such a retardation

Observing the area, she saw much decoration  
Ornaments and lights, with trees as their foundation  
Most of them were covered in round colorful glass  
They reminded her quite a bit of Regigigas!

A little further away, among all the cables  
Were several kinds of food, decked across many tables  
Although she rarely ate and did not condone slaughter  
At the sight of this, even her mouth began to water!

She moved closer as her analysis became complete  
None of the meals appeared to contain any meat  
Even so, she noted that no one was eating  
As her thoughts were interrupted by a slurred greeting

"Hey there sweetie, lend me your ear  
Surprised to see a beauty like you, over here!"  
The Machoke spoke brashly with a cough  
As Mew kind of wished he would just back off

"Thank you…" she whispered, not wanting to be rude  
Then the Machoke leaned in closer, thinking he was a cool dude  
"Hey, I've been wondering about this forever…  
Is it Mr. or Ms. Mime, or whichever?"

Mew became worried, since she didn't know the answer  
And she tried to divert their attention by looking at a nearby dancer  
"Come on sweetie, it's just a simple question!"  
The Machoke spoke, as his voice gained a hint of aggression

"Whichever" Mew replied, hoping it was true  
"Well then, which one would best describe you?"  
Mew gasped as she finally understood  
This rude Machoke was hoping to give her wood!

Mew took a step back a drew a frightened breath  
To her kind, relations would only result in her death  
But her impending doom would seem like a minor gripe  
If she got together with this moron who was SO not her type!

"You look worried" he said, "Don't be upset…  
One look at mine, and you'll instantly be wet!"  
Mew wanted to erase him, but knew that she shouldn't  
Morals aside, it was more of a fact that she couldn't!

To attack she would have to shed her disguise  
Even if only for a second, that would not be wise  
If she were to reveal her true form here, no matter how adorable  
The consequences would indeed be deplorable!

"Isn't it too early for you to be committing rape?"  
A nearby snake-Pokémon said, as the Machoke's mouth was agape  
"Usually you get to stay free until at least Christmas Day"  
"Keep it in your pants, or you'll miss the evening's buffet"

"Sorry, officer Snivy! I won't happen again!" the Machoke plead  
"Piss off, bonehead" Snivy said while scratching his head  
The Machoke scrambled away and disappeared among the crowd  
Leaving the two of them alone, as Snivy sighed out loud

"T-Thank you…" Mew said, still urging to be left alone  
If not for his presence, by now away she would have flown  
"Not a problem, miss…" he answered, clearing out his ear  
"Or perhaps that was 'mister', I didn't quite hear!"

"Not you too!" Mew shouted, starting to bicker  
As Snivy looked surprised before giving off a snicker  
"Oh no, I just want a new story to bug him with" was his reply  
"See, it would be hilarious if you actually turned out to be a guy!"

"I'm female, if that's what you want to know"  
Mew said, Snivy looking mighty disappointed in the snow  
"Well, I'll tell him differently if I catch him up to some other crime…"  
"Everyone else seems to be in high spirits, so try to have a good time!"

Snivy left her for an Eevee as Mew stood and stared  
These encounters had caught her a bit unprepared  
She thought, "Could this be what Christmas is all about?  
In that case, perhaps it wouldn't be wrong to drop out-"

Before finishing her thought, she left the table  
Unwillingly as she was pulled into a dance most unstable  
"Come my darling, let us dance the night away!"  
"We'll move over this snow like a true winter sleigh!"

It was a Blaziken that had spun her around in a whirl  
Laughing uncontrollably, he sent her flying away in a twirl  
She was half-expecting someone else to instantly catch her  
Once again manhandling her, and turning her into a blur

But as luck would have it, no one came  
So she spun to the outskirts of the area again  
Taking a moment to try to calm down  
She looked back at the party with a big frown

"I knew these were wild, but…" she thought  
As she noticed someone her attention sought  
Another Mr. Mime, who appeared to be kind of sleepy  
He was shuffling away from the crowd, very mysterious and creepy

It was then that Mew knew for sure  
This party had been a rather terrible detour  
Taking one last look back at the swarm  
She finally turned back into her regular form!

Fleeing quickly, she left the Mr. Mime in a daze  
Praying that this would not any suspicions raise  
Flying fast and with an increasing height  
The Mew at long last faded away into the night…

Mew had made it quite far before she exhaled  
Seems that her mission to slip in unnoticed had failed  
While she actually wanted to stay and enjoy the festivities…  
It appears that she was not up for some of the activities!

… Is this Christmas? Even so, she truly did not want to give up  
She had almost been found out, yet didn't want to stop!  
There would have been more to see, had she remained a  
Having a good time once in a while, could it really be a crime!

She thought about returning as herself, before cracking a smile  
Doing something like that would simply not be her style  
Although in truth, she would do anything to not soon  
Have to spend another night with no one but the faceless moon

She has likened herself to the moon ever since birth  
Soaring majestically, far above the lively earth  
Floating all alone over a million miles away  
Everyone looks up to it, but never have anything to say…

And so began the passing of yet another unfulfilling night  
She was free, but without another soul in sight  
The silence and solitude she had come to know so very well  
Instead made her feel like she was locked inside a cell

Spending her days researching, she was called Earth's mother  
For she knew more about life than any other  
But learning the ways of creatures big and small  
Did nothing to cure her emptiness, at all!

Though so very wise, she was not deluded  
She knew that all her life she had been secluded  
And by knowing so much, yet experiencing so little  
Her will to live had become rather brittle

Born legendary, her existence was one of limitless possibilities  
She was blessed with a long life as well as incredible abilities  
One would think her goals in life would come rushing  
While in reality, she truly had nothing…

Her greatest wish was actually far from vain  
She was not interested in power, money nor fame  
Although the longing was there, the solution remained unknown  
Perhaps something akin to a family, one that she could call her own…?

A mother, or someone who is loving and kind!  
An older brother, always having a superior mind!  
Just… Anyone! Someone that'll keep her from going insane!  
With something like that, she would never feel lonely again!

A storm was picking up as the air filled with snow  
But in her normal form, she was never cold, hungry or slow  
She knew that she would be fine through this whole ordeal  
And kept moving until she suddenly heard a sorrowful squeal

Although her night had already been blown  
She knew that she just couldn't leave it alone!  
She moved closer as the storm had lost its stability  
And whoever it was would have reduced visibility

"-addy, no!" a light voice pierced the storm  
As in the haze of snow, Mew began to see a form  
For right in the middle of this unforgiving blizzard  
Stood a young Squirtle, hunching over a collapsed Charizard

"Daddy! No! Please don't die!"  
The child wailed as he started to cry  
Mew did not have to be a wise one most distinguished  
To notice the flame on his tail had already been extinguished…

"Please! My daddy's dying, help my daddy, you!"  
The child continued, unfazed at the appearance of Mew  
He could not exactly be picky on who to ask for assist  
As he could only make out a pink blur in the powerful mist

Mew approached the Charizard's massive size  
This storm had obviously taken him by surprise  
They must have just been outside flying  
What a horrible way to end up dying…

While healing was not hers but Celebi's specialty  
She thought that fixing this should not be an impossibility  
Perhaps if she were to all the cold inside his body drain  
Like a phoenix, he would spring back to life again?

She had barely gotten started before the entire  
Charizard suddenly burst into fire!  
The Squirtle jumped back, receiving a scare  
While Mew just hovered closely to the mighty flare

"GRAAAAAHHH!" the Charizard yelled  
As his entire body felt like it was being meld  
After a few moments, the ball of fire ceased its burning  
As the Charizard slowly felt his powers returning

"DADDY! YOU'RE ALIVE!" the Squirtle shouted  
Never having lost hope, never having doubted  
The Charizard was confused and started to look around  
But nowhere the pink figure he had felt was to be found

The Charizard flinched, "If not for her, I would be…"  
"Tell me, son… Who was it that helped me?"  
"It was the spirit of Christmas!" the Squirtle said  
As he stopped crying and started smiling instead

"Wait, was THAT Christmas?" Mew thought as she fled through the squall  
Either way, she really didn't want this night to end up in a Pokeball!  
Forgetting about the two, even though it was not exactly biblical  
She'll never know that she had just handed out a true Christmas Miracle!

Still feeling down, she finally made it home  
A place so secret, even its description shall remain unknown!  
In all this secrecy, she was quite surprised to sense  
That someone was in there… It made her tense…

Could it be her friend, master of the flora?  
Even so, Mew sensed more than one aura  
No one untrusting knew about her favorite place to hide  
And so, she decided to carefully look inside…

"Welcome back, Mew! Happy Holiday!"  
Celebi exclaimed in a most cheerful way  
"Hey, there's this thing called 'Christmas', and it truly sounds fun!"  
"We have everything prepared, so let's try it at once!"

Celebi was there, together with a strange crew  
A Gallade and Kabutops, as well as that brash Pikablu  
While Celebi claimed that they were trusty and would not tell  
Mew still hadn't gotten used to their presence all that well

Her home had been decorated with various things  
Mostly weird trinkets, among them balls of glass on strings  
Everything was less glamorous than what she earlier had gotten to see  
… Surely, that tiny little branch was not supposed to be a Christmas Tree!

A few hours ago, this would have been great  
Now? It all felt a little… Lightweight.  
"Oh! Almost forgot…" Celebi said, picking up a mysterious rag  
At closer inspection, it was more like a colorful and cubically formed bag

She used her psychic abilities to remove its content  
Sent it flying Mew's way and gladly said "Here's your present!"  
Mew caught it and began examining it  
A bar of calcium, yet nothing special it seemed to emit…

Mew frowned, "Hmm… I don't know if it's a keeper…"  
Celebi laughed, "Not like that, try to look at it deeper!"  
That's when Mew noticed what she hadn't earlier seen  
The calcium's electrons were not twenty, but actually nineteen!

"It's called potassium, an element the humans created!"  
Celebi continued as Mew became elated  
Mew wanted to start experimenting with it right away!  
"This is incredible! Thank you so much!" she proceeded to say

"Don't thank me, thank the others!" Celebi said, pointing to their additions  
"They're the ones that got the present, and taught me all of these traditions!"  
"It was our pleasure" Kabutops said, as he decided to bow  
"I know my way around labs, just don't ask me how…"

"What's with that bow, did age finally get your back?"  
The Gallade snickered, shining with the color opposite of black  
"Being humble is fine, but it's not like there was a rule!"  
"No need for all that stuff, these two are totally cool"

"Maybe you could stand to learn some respect…"  
Pikablu mumbled quietly, hoping to interject  
"Hah!" the Gallade said, "I can't believe I'm hearing that from you!"  
"Mr. I'm-gonna-beat-up-legends-so-I-can-be-a-legend-too!"

The bickering went on as Mew deeply sighed  
However, she did not feel the usual instinct to hide  
Rather, watching he chemistry between these three  
Filled her up with what she would later identify as "Glee"

'Twas not a family, but some components were there  
Siblings fighting each other, but never ceasing to care  
Far from what she had experienced at the magnificent ball  
Could THIS be Christmas? It was a human tradition, after all…

If this was the proper way to celebrate Christmas or not  
It didn't really matter, because she was enjoying it a lot  
And even though her true holiday mission was far from clear  
She knew that she would get another shot at it… Next year!

* * *

**Somewhere in a dark, damp cave**  
**Sits old man Mewtwo, dignified and grave**  
**"Christmas? Bah! Humbug!" he started to exclaim**  
**And finished it, because in the end no one else came**  
**There he'll sit forever, known by nothing but his name**  
**Since he prefers to be alone… What a shame…**  
**But rest assured that if celebration WAS his aim**  
**That party would be anything BUT lame!**  
**Using his charms, he would get the most beautiful dame!**  
**Even her strongest suitors he would be able to tame!**  
**The ones that would question him would be looking for a maim…**  
**Humans, Pokémon… They all implode the same!**

**But in the end, sitting alone in a cave was all that became…**  
** And he himself knows that he has only one person to blame…**

* * *

**'Tis**  
**The season**  
**To get fatter**  
**Falalalala, lalalala**  
**Pokemon or man**  
**It doesn't matter!**  
**Fa la la la la, la la la la**  
**Care not for tomorrow because**  
**Today is the day that we celebrate!**  
**Please enjoy this Christmas tree**  
**Fa la la la la**  
**la la**  
**la la**


End file.
